Friday Funnies 4: Ways to Make an Airport Experience Less Boring

April 05, 2013  •  1 Comment

Where0127609-R1-E034 I really enjoy traveling: it's a cool way to see the world for yourself when you're not satisfied by reading lots of wikipedia articles written by people who get out of the house more often than you. Finally getting to a new place is fun and exciting, but the in-between part can be tedious at best. When you're poor like me, you get the ticket that has the most connections and the longest layovers; not by choice. So here are a few things that you can do to pass the time when you're stuck in the airport.

  • In an international terminal, see how many times you can go in and out of immigration in 2 hours. Whoever collects the most stamps wins!
  • Sleep. There's no better way to miss your flight. That will add a little spice to your trip!

  • Use the free wifi in the terminal to load up a bunch of pickup lines onto your phone. Work your way through the airport bars until you’ve used up each one.

  • Pretend that you’re about to miss your flight on the other end of the terminal so you can catch one of those six-seater turbo golf carts with an angry immigrant in the driver seat and a yellow spinny light on the back. Each one of these carts seem to have a racing suspension and carpet optimized radial tires. Once you get to the other side of the airport, frantically discover, to your surprise and urgent terror, that the gate is back where you started! Try to establish a round trip speed record by posting your times online for each major airport hub and challenging your friends to beat them.

  • Try to pack all of your clothes and other miscellaneous items into your carry-on bags so you don’t have to check anything. Once you’re in the terminal waiting for your flight, go get your shoes shined. Tell a really wild story to the guy while he’s working on your shoes. Go into the bathroom, change clothes, change shoes, hang out for a bit. Go back about 30 minutes later and get your shoes shined. Tell the same really wild story to the guy while he’s working on your shoes. Go into the bathroom, change clothes, change shoes…

  • If you’re with a few friends, start teaching an impromptu and extremely fake/extravagant yoga class near the food court. As people walk by, recruit them to join in. At the end of the class, walk around collecting $10 per person, starting with your friends (cause they’re in on it). See how many people actually pay.

  • Wear vintage 20's era clothing and walk around the airport looking really confused, asking where the train platforms are.

  • Stand in place in high-traffic areas just to cause a bottleneck. Watch what happens when people need to get by but are too timid and awkward to actually say something to you.
  • Pack 10 water bottles full of water in your carry on. When you get to security, they'll angrily point to the sign and mindlessly gesture at the trash can. You don't want that precious water to go to waste though. Say something completely unrelated like "did you hear who won the presidential election last fall?", then while everyone around you is completely confused, chug all 10 bottles and waltz through the metal detector with a big, wet grin on your face.

If you have any more awesome ideas on how to pass the time in an airport, write them in the comments below!

Also, check out last week's Friday Funny: Why Nobody Should Become a BASE Jumper, Ever


Comments

Jonas(non-registered)
So how many of these did you actually try?
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